The body, in this whole “adventure” of mine with burnout, is an especially interesting thread for me.
I mentioned in my first text that before last year’s crisis, I had been in what I dare call self-therapy for two years. It all started with the body, as if it knew what was going on and that I would need a lot of strength to get through this perturbation.

The body knew.

In June 2022, two significant things happened. Completely unplanned, overnight, and seemingly due to a series of “coincidences”, I switched to what’s known as 8/16 intermittent fasting and started running. These changes translated into improved fitness and well-being; they quickly became habits I’ve maintained ever since.
Improving my nutrition (I also stopped drinking alcohol) and introducing a form of cardio exercise (in addition to yoga, which I’ve practised for years) made a noticeable difference in my overall condition. Getting eight hours of sleep within a more or less regular timeframe also proved essential (although I did occasionally sleep longer — which, in combination with depressive episodes, can clearly indicate depression or burnout. I would sleep for long periods just to disconnect).

It was exactly at this time, June 2022, that I reached for my first readings — ones that became guides in the process of finding myself. By training my body, nourishing it properly, immersing myself in nature and pouring my thoughts onto paper, I began a period of “unpacking”.

Unfortunately, I didn’t avoid the physical consequences of the entire situation. The closer I got to last June and “moment zero,” the more tension I felt in my body: muscle aches, headaches, abdominal pain, digestive issues. On top of that came problems with concentration, focus, motivation, and chronic fatigue.
Fortunately, despite the crisis, I managed to maintain my new habits. I remember mornings when I would sit at my desk, unable to get anything done — a sense of reluctance and pointlessness. I’d put on my sports clothes, get in the car and drive to the woods for a run. While running, I could feel my mood shift, endorphins flowing, and my perception of reality changing.

Rest.

I have to take a hard look at myself and reflect on these 18 years of running my own business. Over the years, I regularly took pebbles from the “no rest” basket and threw them into the garden called burnout.
It’s only in the last few years that I’ve drawn a clear line between work and rest. I’ve decided not to take on assignments during weekends or evenings (with very few exceptions, of course). But considering how long I’ve been in this industry, that’s just a small fraction of the whole timeline. Redirecting my work toward portrait photography has made that easier — unlike reportage work, which demands availability at all hours.
Still, I struggled to rest on weekdays, when I was online anyway, taking calls and responding to client needs.
Saturdays and Sundays, however, became guaranteed moments of calm and detachment from work duties.

There’s another aspect to rest: holidays.
The longest holiday I’ve ever taken in my entire career lasted 13 days — counting weekends. The last two seasons: 11 days each. I usually went away for a week or less, and even then I stayed online. My vacation plans were always subordinate to work. Planning time off was something for “later”, and even then, I was always the head of the company.
I remember one season when my partner and I couldn’t find time to go away together — our calendars never aligned, and work always got in the way. So I gave up the trip, rationalising the situation quickly. Marcin went alone — I saw no reason he shouldn’t go, he was exhausted. And at the same time, I didn’t see anything wrong in letting him leave while I stayed.
I’m sure my body and emotions recorded such moments with great precision. I was living in a state of profound imbalance between effort and gratification.

Connectivity.

Sometimes, before my mind can make a decision, I already feel the answer in my body — don’t do it, don’t say yes.
Many times, I’ve ignored that voice — that knot in the stomach — and chosen the path of rationalisation. And it always led to some form of discomfort afterward.
The body sends us signals, but we rarely listen. We don’t understand its language, or we pretend not to hear it, abusing and overexploiting it while expecting it to serve us perfectly.

Freelancing, by its very nature, tends to push the body’s needs to the bottom of the priority list (well — the freelancer does that). Hours at a desk, no movement, poor nutrition, staying up late to finish something due the next day, long-term stress.
That’s no longer my model, but it used to be.
I still remember my press days — several intense days working in the heat ended with heatstroke. I was severely dehydrated and ended up in bed with intense body aches and total weakness. I couldn’t even make myself a cup of tea — my mother had to feed me soup.
I also heard stories of people fainting from exhaustion, suffering chronic headaches, or ignoring spinal rehabilitation just to keep hauling around heavy camera equipment.

The body is always speaking — we’re just not listening. We give in to pressure. Work as much as possible while the orders are coming in. Work fast so the client will be happy and return. Do whatever the online world recommends to guarantee success.
Everyone eventually learns that this kind of attitude leads to disaster. Neglect accumulates. You can’t make up for sleepless nights or undo long-term physical depletion. But I understand. Most people have to learn it the hard way.

The body is always in a dance with emotions, my next text will be about them.
I’ll just mention here that emotions are recorded in the cells of our body, forming unconscious response patterns. How many times have you reacted to a familiar situation in the same, seemingly irrational way, not knowing why? That’s a pattern at work.
Add to that what we carry from previous generations — inherited traumas and experiences. Our starting point is not a blank slate. The body stores it all.
In my case, it stored quite a lot — and putting it into motion helped bring many of these things back into consciousness…

May 2025

Articles in this series can be found under the category “burnout in freelancing”.