When I think about what I want to change in my professional life, or indeed in life in general, a few conclusions come to mind: important themes that I’ve been carrying inside me for some time. The longer I carry them, the more I feel they should be taken into account when building new qualities.

I no longer want to operate under pressure, in a rush, or out of fear. I don’t intend to fight, race, or compete. I want to focus on what is unique and special in me. I promise to listen to the voice of my intuition and stay in tune with myself. To follow the inner signpost, because it doesn’t lead me astray.
Courage. I used to have a lot of it. A thought came, and I followed it. I know it probably wasn’t obvious from the outside, but the truth is, I reached out less often and more often asked myself, “Does it make sense?” I’m returning to my original settings.

I won’t always be available to others, not unconditionally and not without limits. Partnerships and a sense of reciprocity, in whatever we are in and whatever we do, are now my direction. I’ve become aware of passive-aggressive behaviour towards me, of attitudes and actions that don’t support me. I’m not going to play that game anymore. Here is where I draw a clear line.
I’ll try to communicate clearly what I need, what I want, and what I don’t want or accept.

I want to act more broadly, more diversely. I want to use the experience and knowledge I’ve gathered over the years, which don’t have to be limited to photography.
Will I leave the profession, meaning commercial photography?

I don’t know yet.
But I do know that I’ll make a lot of space for other things. I can’t yet fully see the new landscapes. I’m still deeply immersed in the process of transforming the old into the new. Something is emerging, some directions are slowly taking shape. But it’s not a clear picture yet. So I’m holding off on big decisions. I allow myself to float, or rather, to drift. And I watch.
Whatever it turns out to be, I want to act with more care for myself. I mean this not only in relation to work, but also to what I do outside of it. I want to add something that brings peace and mental relaxation, something that comes from the right hemisphere, not the left. Sport gives me that, of course, but I also need creative “non-work”.
Rest now goes on my list of basic needs.

I want to remind myself of what I used to dream about. And I’d better write it here — what’s written down becomes known.

I like speaking English. I want to speak it often, as freely as I did when I toured America during my studies, or even earlier when I lived in the Netherlands.
People from other parts of the world fascinate and inspire me. Being part of international initiatives and projects, artistic or otherwise, would be wonderful. It’s a chance to create on the move, to draw from completely different perspectives. I want to immerse myself in diversity.
I remember with gratitude my artist residency in Hungary a few years ago. I feel at home in that kind of environment.
I love the thought that somewhere out there, in different parts of Europe or the world, I know someone. And I want to know many more.

I also dream of publishing a book. More than one. A photographic one with my portraits, of course, but I’ve also been writing a novel for some time now. And this thought excites me, because I’m used to working with images, but I’m only just beginning to form a friendship with the word.
And with words in general, I’ve started to envision something: I’m sitting in a small cottage in the mountains, watching mist rise above the forest after rain, and I’m writing. It’s a very pleasant and calming thought.

New York. An iconic place for art. One day I will show my portraits there. I’ve written that scene in my imagination. I remind myself that I don’t need to know how. It’s enough that I feel permission and desire.

I also want things to happen that I can’t even imagine right now. Unexpected moments, which, when combined with my potential and creativity, will lead to fascinating adventures.

Let me return to the forest. The vast wilderness of the Canadian woods, or the sequoias in the States, the mountain slopes covered with forest, higher than those in our Beskids. I want to explore the forest.

I also dream of a world that becomes a gentler place, full of understanding for otherness and different perspectives, without the need to impose one’s will. I would love for us to celebrate what is good, instead of constantly highlighting what is bad, shallow, or mediocre.
And when it comes to nature, I’ll refer to a powerful symbol made of two sets: one where we replace the EGO model, with humans at the centre, with ECO, where humans are just one equal part. You can easily find illustrations of this online, if they haven’t crossed your path yet.

This is the last entry in the “freelance burnout” series. I’m ending it for now, although I may return to the topic in the future.
I’m grateful to myself for having the courage to write this series. It’s brought me a lot of reflection, helped me look at the situation with greater care, and prompted deep thinking and the beginning of change.
I’m sure the universe will test the sustainability of this new order more than once.
We’ll see. I truly hope it becomes lasting.

I’ve been in therapy for a year now, and my life — including my professional life — is clearly changing. But the order is clear: first come changes within me — in my attitudes, behaviours, relationships with myself and others, in the vast space of emotions. Then I give meaning to what I want to do and how I want to do it professionally.
Whatever it turns out to be, I want to do it with lightness.

June 2025

Articles in this series can be found under the category “burnout in freelancing”.